I wrote my way out

I had this idea for a cover song. In the musical, 'Hamilton', the main character sings "I wrote my way out" and explains how he wrote his way out of poverty and disaster and how writing his first essay gained the compassion of his community who took up a collection to send him to New York to attend University.

The problem with doing a cover of a Lin-Manuel Miranda song is that it turns out I can't rap. I know, it's very surprising to me as well that a prairie girl from central Canada can't freestyle with the same ease and clarity as a Tony Award winning hip hop lyricist and artist who grew up in Washington Heights. So I scraped the idea but I still feel this magnetic connection to the song.

What did I write my way out of? I wrote my way out of depression and anxiety. I wrote my way out of feeling trapped in a rut. I wrote my way out of numerous events in my life that I found no other way of processing other than writing it into a song.

It's incredible to become your own motivator, by writing songs you end up being inspired by. The songs I write somehow embody my truest emotions and desires, guiding me closer and closer towards a more fulfilling life.

Music has the incredible power to connect and inspire in so many ways. That's exactly what 'Hamilton' has done for me. I hope that my music has the potential to do that for someone else.

What I like about the character of Hamilton is that he didn't wait for someone to make him feel better. He took matters into his own hands and used the creative force of writing to find his way in life. He used writing to give himself purpose and drive. This act of creation is what drew people to him, it's what allowed him to rise above his station and leave behind the legacy that he did.

I'm not comparing myself to Hamilton, or Lin - Manuel Miranda. But I can relate to the feeling of empowering oneself with the act of creation. Every time I write a song I feel like I am changing my own destiny. The songs have led to decisions I never would've made otherwise; they reveal my true self. They are an affirmation that I can create something substantial, something beautiful, something original, out of something so ordinary as pain and loneliness. I have this capacity, no matter what else happens in my life, no matter who walks in or out of it.

I hope that we can inspire each other to be more creative and pour our energies into activities that make us feel unique and empowered, that allow us to connect with others and find the beauty in everything.

So here is the pivotal song that I think of when I refer to writing my way out.
If you like it, you can follow me on Soundcloud or subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

Happy listening! And happy creating!

London Calling

It's been a while since I've been on here. Since it started as a travel blog, I figured I had nothing relevant to say while living back home in Canada. However, lots of exciting changes have been developing over the past year and I want to share them. So here it goes; the first exciting change.

The problem with traveling and living abroad is that it unleashes a hunger. A desire to always want to know more, experience more, discover more.

After living in Bangladesh, several things changed. I became incredibly thankful for all the liberties granted me in being born a Canadian citizen. I realized how much I really do love the prairies with its great, big sky and wide open spaces. And I enjoyed the calm, quietness of life until that hunger started up again.

I made a phone call.

We hadn't spoken in over 2 years. A few Facebook messages here and there but I had left Bangladesh, and he had to stay. His research at the children's hospital wasn't finished yet. We didn't think we would ever see each other again.

He answered.

We talked for hours. Like no time had passed between us and no feelings had faded. We made lofty plans of a visit in the summer. He lived in London now. I could visit London.

We kept talking.

Lofty plans turned to definitive. I bought a plane ticket. I found a new job. I sold my car. I was going all in. London was calling.

Now here we are, a little over a year since that phone call. Two Canadians living in a little house in London by a beautiful park and a Saturday street market with some crazy Australians that we love dearly.

Here's to taking risks, seeking adventure, and following our hearts. Here's to those souvenirs.

Back in the West

It's been two weeks today since I left Dhaka and made the long journey home. My first stop back in the Western World was in Athens, Greece which oddly enough was essentially the birthplace of Western Civilization. The Ancient Greeks were the first to demonstrate a deep appreciation for music, art, theater, philosophy, architecture, and democracy. The Athenians were one of the first groups of people that decided that public opinion mattered and should be taken into account when making any kind of decision that affected the whole community. We owe a lot of our current Western Standard of living and culture to the innovations of the Ancient Greeks.

It's fascinating to think that these structures were built over a thousand years ago and they still stand today! Well pieces of them, but that's mainly due to intentional destruction because of various empires that have overtaken Athens as opposed to natural factors. The pillars are in sections with an iron rod that goes through the middle so that when there is an earthquake, the sections move, but the pillar stays put. Even modern architecture has been destroyed by recent earthquakes in Athens, but these pillars remain.

It was only a few short days but already I fell in love with Greece. From the moment I stepped off the plane, I met a Canadian couple taking the same metro who invited me to follow them. Once off the metro, I was greeted in Monastiraki Square by an older Greek man who could tell I was lost and showed me the way to my hostel. I'd begun to forget that strangers can be kind, this was a really nice reminder.

Dinner outdoors with a friend I made at my hostel and an old friend from Dhaka.

I ate a ton of delicious Greek food including souvlaki, gyros, tzatziki sauce, lamb stew, baklava, Greek frozen yogurt (which is way better), and homemade gelato. I roamed the ancient ruins including the acropolis, the ancient agora, the olympic stadium, and the temple of Zeus. I took a one day tour of islands around Athens and swam in the beautiful blue Aegean Sea. I also had the opportunity to sit in the ancient theater of Dionysus and watch a 1920's Charlie Chaplin film accompanied by a live orchestra. That was incredible.

But what I loved most about Greece was the clean air, bright blue sky, warm sun (without humidity!), friendly strangers, and the freedom to come and go as I pleased and wear whatever I wanted to and never once feel the uncomfortable glare of hundreds of Bengali men. That was priceless.

Landing in Toronto I was met with a shocking $60 cab ride...WHAT?! I don't think I'm going to like paying Canadian prices for things again. Why wouldn't the cab driver accept my 100 taka? I feel like that was more than generous!

I was also met with a slobbery kisses from my brother's friendly dog who's part husky part German Sheppard. We took him for a walk and had a picnic in the park with some friends and I said, this is what I've missed. We can walk down the nice, clean sidewalk to a nice, clean park filled with trees and grass and it's so quiet. No horns honking, no guys trying to sell bananas at the top of their lungs with one note, no spitting, no peeing in the open sewers, no power lines frayed and dangling over your face as you cross the street. Just calm and orderly streets with free and beautiful parks to play in.

I made it home in time for my dear friend's wedding and Canada Day. I've never been more thankful to be Canadian. Our government is by no means perfect, but we have a lot of really great things going for us like our adherence to protecting human rights, our health care and education system, and so many others. Being a young woman in Canada is so much more freeing than so many other places in the world. I am truly thankful for that.

Not to mention, I get to do things like eat the last portion of the world's largest poutine!

So I guess you could say that I'm glad to be home, but I feel like that would be the understatement of the year.

The Challenge

Last week one of my best friend's challenged me to record a day in my life here in Dhaka. So here it goes:

Wake up at 6:30 a.m. and hit snooze several times until I realize that I am probably going to be late, quick shower, dressed and ready for the school van at 7:25 a.m. to take us from the teacher apartments to school.

This van is dented because we have one crazy driver who likes to drive to fast and crash into things and he looks about 14 years old.

Didn't have time for breakfast so make some toast with PB and J that my room mate and I have cleverly purchased and left at school for such days, I have a solid 45 minutes before class starts, lots of time for prep work and breakfast.

First class is English with Grade 7, my favorite class of the year. For the last month, Mrs, Charlebois and I have combined our Grade 7 and 8 English classes once a week to do drama, this has been a blast!

Next class is either a prep, 7/8 Music, or Pre-K music-this is obviously my favorite because they are so cute! This is where all of the songs I learned working at the daycare have definitely come in handy!

Third class is a prep, 5/6, or Social Studies-this being my favorite because I get to teach my students about Empowerment and most recently we watched "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas" because they wanted to learn more about World War 2. We had an incredible discussion afterwards and I forgot what it's like to hear about the events of the holocaust for the first time. I've stopped reacting to it, but when I saw their faces at the end of the movie and their reaction when I told them that stuff like that really happened, I remembered how I felt when I first learned about it. That's how we should react, like how in the world is it possible for humans to do that to each other? How is it possible to hate one group of people that much? I don't have an answer for them, because there isn't one. It just shouldn't happen.

Lunch time is only 30 minutes. I forgot to pack something, so I could purchase cafeteria food and risk Dhaka belly for the rest of the afternoon, or I can snack on the pack of cookies in my backpack from my friend's cookie factory (what a lifesaver those cookies have been all year!).

After lunch I teach music to K-4 (On different days) and this is when the power is usually out. No power means no air conditioning in 40 degree heat with humidity which means me and 20 little bodies dripping with sweat and wanting nothing more but to lie on the ground and whine about how hot we are. But I must teach! So with sweat stinging in my eyes we learn about quarter notes and sing about raindrops being gumdrops and itsy bitsy spiders.

My "Music" Room

By last period the power is back on! Finally! This is when I teach the big kids, Grade 9 and 10. Yikes!

Then it's home room time with my Grade 7's and we are doing the 100 days of happiness challenge! So every day we have to write at least one happy thought!

I decide to walk home after school and this is what I see:

This is the rickshaw wallah I usually take home, he's very trustworthy and friendly

I usually walk on the street because the sidewalk is full of random things like...rocks and sand?

Some power lines

Open sewers...don't fall in!!!

Construction zone...safety first?

Plug your nose, try and hold your breath around this corner

Watch out for the live wires on the ground

Carpet wash in the slum by the main road

In the background a man cleans up his "barber shop"

Specific advertising much?

Oh, don't mind the random pile of bricks on the sidewalk

Or the refuse...

Or the broken tiles with sewage below

See all those children in that cart? That's how they get to school.

Banani "Mall" close to my apartment

My apartment, first floor, there's the school van pulling up, I made it alive...this time. 

I'm coming home, coming home, tell the world I'm coming home!

Here it is, the extensive list of all the things I miss the most about home and the most exciting thing is that I know that all of them will be waiting for me upon my return and I absolutely cannot wait.

1. Waffles with fresh fruit and the Mennonite white sauce...if you don't know what I'm talking about, you're missing out in life.
2. Sunday brunch (at 1 pm) at Condo Villa
3. Appetizer and games night
4. Ice Cream in bed with J Cam and talking about life and all things important
5. Making desserts with K Cam like crisp, pie, pav, cookies, cupcakes, everything!
6. Sitting on my roof watching fireworks
7. Harry Potter with my sister
8. Late night discussions with father
9. My mom’s cooking: Meatloaf, scalloped potatoes (the cheesy ones), honey garlic ribs, roasted potatoes and vegetables, lasagna, desserts, roast ham, just everything she makes is delicious
10. My brother’s rants
11. Taking Charlie for walks
12. Snuggling with Charlie
13. Impromptu dinner parties, pool parties, poutine and cupcake parties, and general hangouts whenever, wherever, with my favorite people in the entire world, and now I can literally say, in the ENTIRE world.
14. Sing alongs in my living room or around a bon fire with so many talented musical friends
15. Telephone Pictionary with my parents and Paul; definitely with Paul Buhler
16. Working in my garden
17. Hanging out with Chantel, laughing, doing crafts, coloring, eating ice cream, swimming, running around the parks, making me a kid again. :)
18. Star gazing
19. Dancing in thunderstorms
20. Clean streets and sidewalks
21. Green things
22. Open spaces
23. Friendly people I can communicate with
24. Having a piano in my living room and a home theater in the basement and a comfortable bed and a normal shower and a fridge that’s always full of food and convenient grocery stores
25. A deck and a BBQ!!
26. Mosquitoes that have the decency to stay outside! And only come around two months of the year!
27. My car and the freedom to go anywhere I want whenever I want
28. My bicycle and the fact that I won’t die in traffic (Well...the average person won't...)
29. Doing yard work...am I actually saying this? I miss doing physical labor outside, just being active and able to go for a walk or mow the lawn in the sunshine, without pollution, will be so great.
30. Iced Tea-Dad, have a pitcher ready for me!
31. Libraries and book stores
32. My Church Community
33. Live music and theatre: I missed that part of me so much here! Watching the movie “Frozen” was the next best thing!
34. Hugs from so many people, big and small!
35. Feeling totally and completely at home, comfortable, and loved. There is so much love in Brandon, Manitoba. I can feel it all the way out here.  

36. 

    Ringing in the start of the craziest year of my life!

    

    My sisters!

     

    

    My beautiful family!

    

    Games Night!

     

Inspiration: Watch it grow

Have you heard of TED Talks? They're anywhere from 10-30 minute videos of public speakers discussing a variety of topics from magic tricks to social justice to new inventions. One of the Grade 12 students at are school thought it would be a great idea to host our own series of "TED Talks" which we called "CTS Talks." She explained to the teachers that the students at our school don't have a lot of opportunities to work on public speaking skills in front of an audience bigger than their classroom (which at CTS is about 10 people). The English teachers from Grades 7-12 agreed that this was a great idea and made it part of our students English grade to create a TED Talk on any topic of their choice, whatever idea they wanted to spread to the entire middle and high school student body.

One of the CTS Talks was from a student in Grade 11 who was commenting on how, because of the heat and lack of access to clean drinking water, rickshaw wallahs were passing out in the streets. The student council decided that these words shouldn't fall on deaf ears, so they organized a campaign and within a few days, "Project H2O" had raised several thousand taka, bought several hundred water bottles, and together, a group of staff and students went out into the streets and handed out water bottles to anyone we saw who needed it. We were trying to target rickshaw wallahs, but if people asked, we gave. The students were so excited to be doing something that they organized to help their own community. Some of them have never walked in Dhaka their entire lives. Can you imagine? Their parents won't let them, they tell them it's not safe. This is the first time they've interacted with people living on the street and driving rickshaw's. This is the first time they've felt good about doing something solely for the benefit of someone else. This is only the beginning, but think how far they could go with this idea?

Ms. Matharoo and I invited some survivors from the Acid Survivors Foundation to join us for our final Girls Club meeting. Girls Club has been our once a week, after school activity in which we hang out with the middle school girls, discuss tough topics, build positive relationships, and just have fun being girls. The girls were so excited to meet the survivors and we got to hear some of their stories and have fun making jewelry together. One girl refused a marriage proposal at age 14 and had acid thrown on her, she is now 24 and continues to have reconstructive surgery with very visible scars on her face and arms. With ASF, they receive medical support and job training as well as psychological counselling and emotional support. Often times, these women have to return to the villages where they were attacked and live next to their perpetrators, sometimes their perpetrators are family members. The justice system here is so corrupt that there is no justice for these women, and very little protection from further abuse. One of our students was so moved by the visit that she went down to the organization the next week and signed up to volunteer. Since she speaks both Bangla and English, she has decided to take down stories from the survivors and translate them into English. This project serves as advocacy by informing others through personal stories about acid violence and also empowerment to the survivors by giving them a voice.

While I am horrified at the inhumanity of acid violence, I am amazed at the work that the people at ASF do, and I am honored that those brave women came to the school to share their stories with my students. And while I am so frustrated with world systems that keep people in poverty and withhold basic human rights like clean drinking water for all, I am inspired by my students who are willing to think of creative ways to make a difference. Who says you're too young to change the world?

"Is this the world you want? Is this the world you want? You're making it. Everyday you're alive."-Switchfoot    

Top 12 Things I will miss the most

Perspective is an interesting thing. With only 5 weeks left in Dhaka, here it is, in no particular order, a top 12 list of all the things that I will actually miss when I leave:

1. Weekends lounging by the pool at the Canadian Club, American Club, or Chez Abhishek.

2. Living in teacher dorms, borrowing washing machines, tailors, food, and clothing from various apartments in the building. 

3. Apartment Zumba: An after school workout in the comfort of my air conditioned living room.

4. Ice cream, frozen yogurt, and gelato all within walking distance from my apartment!

5. Weekly affordable spa treatments. 

6. Tanveer Cookies delivered to my doorstep which have been a nutritional staple in our apartment.

7. Travelling to exotic places during holidays.

8. Watching my students grow academically, socially, and emotionally.

9. Carrot Cake from the ARA.

10. Delicious, affordable meals that I never have to cook myself!

11. Open Mic Night at the Canadian Club: So many good times jamming out with a great group of people.

12. Living, working and socializing with a great group of people who definitely became my family while living over here.