Rickshaw Races and Gender Equality...all in a day's work

An article from the school newspaper, written by yours truly:

On Friday, Feb. 7, 2014, four enthusiastic CTS teachers tried their hands at driving a rickshaw in the Second Annual Rickshaw Relay put on by the Canadian High Commission in support of the Acid Survivors Foundation. There were 24 teams participating in the race and each team got to race twice. Ms. Pidduck, Ms. Isaak, Ms. Matharoo, and Mr. Tam came up with the team name "I'd Tam That" in reference to Mr. Tam's tendency to take pictures of everything, which we now call "tamming it up" and cameras are no longer cameras but "tamming devices." 

Showing off our home made team shirts

Off to a good start...ish

Each leg of the race we gained more passengers

Doing the Queen wave...because we were going parade speed.

We lost our first race by a lot because we were all nervous and it was our first time driving a rickshaw, for the second race, Ms. Matharoo came up with the brilliant strategy to "just go faster" and it worked! We did much better than the first race, unfortunately, the other team had a similar strategy and proved to be much more efficient at it. 

Coming across the finish line in style

The race ended in the evening with a gala dinner where we were able to learn more about the Acid Survivors Foundation which the event was supporting. Acid violence is a form of gender-based violence that continues to affect the lives of many girls and women who are survivors of acid violence. These women have shown incredible courage in the face of adversity and two young girls who were survivors danced for us at the gala dinner and shared a bit of their story.

Ms. Matharoo and I with two young girls who are acid survivors and workers from ASF at the Gala Dinner.

The Acid Survivors Foundation continues to support victims of acid violence by providing reconstructive surgery as well as psychological counseling. ASF also promotes advocacy of the issue of gender inequality in order to reduce the number of acid violence cases each year. We learned a lot about this incredibly important organization and hope to continue to support the cause of reducing violence against women in Bangladesh and throughout the world. 

End of news article.

Let's talk about acid violence candidly now. So let's say you are born a girl, that's enough of a reason for a father to throw acid on you, or even "feed" it to you as an infant. Or say you refuse a marriage proposal or there's a dowry dispute between families, again, as a young girl, you would have acid thrown on you for this. And here's my favorite reason: land disputes. If a father is in a land dispute with another man, the other man is perfectly justified in taking out his anger at the father by throwing acid on the face of his daughter. Is it just me? Or is there something seriously flawed in all of this "logic"? 

I wish gender equality was a thing that actually existed in the world, because let's face it, that's the root of all of this violence. If men actually saw women as human beings, as people with value, they wouldn't be able to treat them so horrifically. If men in this country saw me as a person, and not as exposed knees and legs, they wouldn't have harassed me this morning while I was walking to school in a dress. If men all over the world saw women as intelligent individuals with freedom of choice, they wouldn't drug their drinks or lie and manipulate to get into bed with them. 

As a woman, I am appalled at how we are treated across the globe because of our gender. And I know that I am a fortunate woman to have grown up in a country that allows me the freedom to wear whatever I want (to an extent) and act however I want (to an extent) and be free from harassment (to an extent).  I am fortunate that if I am harassed in Canada, I have resources available to me to press charges, to seek counseling, and to find a safe place. I am especially fortunate to have a father, brother, and many male friends who see me as a person first and understand the true meaning of equality and respect. I will, however, continue to have conversations on this topic and advocate for women's rights because it's only through education and personal experience that minds and hearts can actually be changed.

Social change grows one relationship at a time

A lot of people have been asking about the Harry Potter situation of people being forced to dwell under the stairs at the school, see previous blog for more info. What happened, is that the teachers all complained that this was inhumane and the principal spoke to the director on our behalf who then decided he would make a special staff room for the ayas, guards, and maintenance men, outside. It's still segregation, but an actual room as opposed to being shoved under the stairs is a step forward. And in the mean time I've noticed the ayas hanging out in the regular staff room again and the "cozy" nook under the stairs has been cleaned out and used only as a place to store brooms.

So I didn't get to stage my big protest, but I think I'm beginning to realize that creating social change does not have to mean grand gestures or extravagant measures, it can and it should when necessary, but I think the most effective and long lasting change happens one relationship at a time. It's not grand, it's not a quick fix, and sometimes you don't get to see the end result of what you are trying to achieve. But I remember the starfish story, and I think it's important to keep in mind. I can't expect to single handedly change the course of history but I can choose how I interact with people and whether or not to treat all people with basic human dignity.

I try to talk to the Ayas as much as possible which is difficult given the extreme language barrier. But I've learned a few phrases and they are so eager to teach me more when I have a free minute. The other day two of them came into my room at the end of the day to clean and asked me to play piano for them, so I did, and then I invited them to play. Reluctant at first, but eventually one of the ladies tried it out and just laughed. Every time a student has a birthday, parents often bring extravagant amounts of cake and food, when this happens, a few of us teachers often go out of our way to take some to the ayas. A small gesture for sure, but the one day that there was a small cake and only a few students had some, they came up to me and asked why I didn't bring any to them. I explained that it was small and only for the specific grade of students and then promised to bring them their own cake on my birthday. Of course the conversation consisted of us each speaking our own language and using a lot of gestures, but we all understood in the end. It matters. It matters that they feel just as much a part of this school community as any other staff member or student. It matters that they get cake. It matters that they are important enough to not be excluded. It matters that they are empowered enough to ask for what they want and to know that they deserve it too.

It goes both ways. The other day I was participating in basketball intermurals and received a basketball straight to the face. I quickly left the court in search of paper towel and cold water to soothe my injuries and each of the ayas came to check on me in the bathroom and make sure I was o.k. There's a famous quote by Maya Angelou, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Relationships matter. Respect matters. Empowerment matters.

I recently got into a heated debate with someone on this topic and they told me I am "too trusting in the goodness of people, almost to a fault." This is not the first time I have been told this. But I'm not insulted; they are commenting on the fact that I have faith in humanity and hope for a better future. "But what you're describing is a Utopia; it will never happen." Another common argument. So we should only ever dream of what's attainable? Does that not defeat the purpose of dreams? We encourage our children to dream big, to play fair, be creative. Why do we stop as adults? Let's continue to dream big, play fair, be creative in working towards solutions to incredibly complicated problems. We all have the capacity to create positive change, to make a difference in the lives of those around us, and all it takes is one relationship at a time.