Social change grows one relationship at a time

A lot of people have been asking about the Harry Potter situation of people being forced to dwell under the stairs at the school, see previous blog for more info. What happened, is that the teachers all complained that this was inhumane and the principal spoke to the director on our behalf who then decided he would make a special staff room for the ayas, guards, and maintenance men, outside. It's still segregation, but an actual room as opposed to being shoved under the stairs is a step forward. And in the mean time I've noticed the ayas hanging out in the regular staff room again and the "cozy" nook under the stairs has been cleaned out and used only as a place to store brooms.

So I didn't get to stage my big protest, but I think I'm beginning to realize that creating social change does not have to mean grand gestures or extravagant measures, it can and it should when necessary, but I think the most effective and long lasting change happens one relationship at a time. It's not grand, it's not a quick fix, and sometimes you don't get to see the end result of what you are trying to achieve. But I remember the starfish story, and I think it's important to keep in mind. I can't expect to single handedly change the course of history but I can choose how I interact with people and whether or not to treat all people with basic human dignity.

I try to talk to the Ayas as much as possible which is difficult given the extreme language barrier. But I've learned a few phrases and they are so eager to teach me more when I have a free minute. The other day two of them came into my room at the end of the day to clean and asked me to play piano for them, so I did, and then I invited them to play. Reluctant at first, but eventually one of the ladies tried it out and just laughed. Every time a student has a birthday, parents often bring extravagant amounts of cake and food, when this happens, a few of us teachers often go out of our way to take some to the ayas. A small gesture for sure, but the one day that there was a small cake and only a few students had some, they came up to me and asked why I didn't bring any to them. I explained that it was small and only for the specific grade of students and then promised to bring them their own cake on my birthday. Of course the conversation consisted of us each speaking our own language and using a lot of gestures, but we all understood in the end. It matters. It matters that they feel just as much a part of this school community as any other staff member or student. It matters that they get cake. It matters that they are important enough to not be excluded. It matters that they are empowered enough to ask for what they want and to know that they deserve it too.

It goes both ways. The other day I was participating in basketball intermurals and received a basketball straight to the face. I quickly left the court in search of paper towel and cold water to soothe my injuries and each of the ayas came to check on me in the bathroom and make sure I was o.k. There's a famous quote by Maya Angelou, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Relationships matter. Respect matters. Empowerment matters.

I recently got into a heated debate with someone on this topic and they told me I am "too trusting in the goodness of people, almost to a fault." This is not the first time I have been told this. But I'm not insulted; they are commenting on the fact that I have faith in humanity and hope for a better future. "But what you're describing is a Utopia; it will never happen." Another common argument. So we should only ever dream of what's attainable? Does that not defeat the purpose of dreams? We encourage our children to dream big, to play fair, be creative. Why do we stop as adults? Let's continue to dream big, play fair, be creative in working towards solutions to incredibly complicated problems. We all have the capacity to create positive change, to make a difference in the lives of those around us, and all it takes is one relationship at a time.